| Parents Say the Darnedest Things! |
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Jack from Missouri (the “Show Me” State) … A Teacher’s Journal. As a public school teacher in contemporary American society, you hear and see a lot of strange things. At times, it’s almost as if you’re an investigator into the paranormal. I can’t verify the authenticity of the following stories. Many teachers swear they are true. I merely offer them for your consideration. Real? Unreal? Or a door opening upon a different dimension? Let me be your guide to… A high school held a special meeting for parents before a new dress code was to be adopted. For years, the school had been dealing with discipline problems related to the kids wearing provocative and/or obscene clothing. The consensus of opinion among the teachers and administrators was that a dress code would help to create an atmosphere more conducive to learning. On the day of the meeting, the high school gymnasium was packed to overflowing with parents. In fact, in the school’s long history, no issue, academic or otherwise, had ever produced such a large turnout. The majority of parents were very angry. How dare the school violate their kids’ constitutional rights, their freedom of speech, their freedom of expression, their freedom to be…ME? The tumultuous gathering was capped by one mother’s loud tirade. God gave my daughter a beautiful body, she fumed to the assembled school officials. And why shouldn’t she show it off? The crowd erupted in applause. If you like my body, and you think I’m sexy… A high school senior learned that he was not going to graduate due to failing grades. Frantic, his mother pleaded with the superintendent and the school board. Please don’t do this to my son, she begged them. I can’t have him miss out on the most important day of his life. Undeterred, the school officials reminded her that they could not overturn all the warnings, all the failures amassed over her son’s academic career. Then at least let him walk onto the field with his class, the mother suggested. He doesn’t have to get a diploma. In fact, make him wear a dunce cap. But let him walk with his class. I know I’m not a smart man, but I know what a dunce cap is… On the senior trip to a Vermont ski resort, a girl was caught drinking and summarily sent home. The day afterwards, the school received a phone call from the girl’s mother. Where is it, the mother demanded. Where’s what, the principal asked. The two bottles of wine, the mother replied angrily. We confiscated those bottles when we caught your daughter drinking, the principal explained. You had no right to do that, the mother said, furious. That was very expensive wine I gave to my daughter. I want those bottles back! Wasting away again in “You’re a Minor-Ville.” My name is Jack, and I’m a teacher in a small town in Missouri—the “Show Me” state… Donald Gallinger is the author of The Master Planets
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